December decision time

It’s December. The end of December. I said by December I would make a decision on whether or not I am going to the European Duathlon Championships in southern Spain in early March. I have still to decide. The deadline for making up my mind is 3rd January. I have a strong feeling that come the 3rd January, I still won’t have decided…

It’s not that I don’t want to go – I wouldn’t have gone to all the effort and expense of dragging myself, my kit, my husband and my baby all the way to Bedford in October to qualify if I never intended to go. It’s just that I kept thinking (hoping?!) that by now, all of Sylvester’s eating and sleeping issues would have resolved and that a trip abroad with bike, buggy and baby when he has just turned one would be feasible. At the moment it doesn’t feel feasible, largely because the aforementioned issues have not resolved!

We are still not much further on with weaning than we were 2 months ago. He can still only handle small amounts of food and reacts to a lot of foods. He is still on the same number of milk feeds (5 - 6 per day) that he’s been on since around 5 months. He still wakes on average 3 times every night. We’ve had a couple of random nights that have given a glimmer of hope where he slept until 3am, but I think that was the double-dose of calpol and calpol plug in when he had a cold and so, in hindsight, he was probably just out of it in a calpol-induced coma!

He’s also had A LOT of illnesses. Since September it feels as though he’s just stumbled from one illness to the next with barely a week’s respite between each bug. We’ve had several trips to out of hour’s doctors, MIUs, A & Es and we’ve had a couple overnight admissions to the children’s ward, all of which have been stressful and exhausting (even when poorly there ain’t a cat in hell’s chance of Sylvester sleeping soundly on a 6 bed children’s ward with the lights on all night and alarms going off every five minutes!). Illness messes up his sleep further and his appetite for solids, meaning more setbacks with weaning…. It’s all so heartbreaking for him as he is otherwise the happiest, most cheerful, contented little boy who just loves life and making new exciting discoveries each day and he has absolutely no patience for being ill! There’s nothing I’d like more than to take him to Spain to watch his Mummy compete and enjoy a family holiday at the same time, but the idea of him getting ill in another country feels like an all-too-likely and overwhelming possibility.

So sadly, I think Spain will likely be a no-go. Shame, as the location, Pumta Umbria, looks lovely. The other factor is that I am not that fit at the moment as I am hardly doing any training. Between Sylvester being ill and thoughtfully sharing each and every germ with me, I have been in a constant fuzzy-headed fugue of tired, snotty grottiness for the past 3 months! I still walk on average about 6 miles a day with him in the buggy to get him to nap, so after this I have limited energy or enthusiasm left for running or cycling. Plus the unlikelihood of me going to Spain has been lingering at the back of my mind and so I have not really committed to any form of structured training in preparation. Furthermore, I bloody hate winter and cycling in the cold wet weather, which I’d have to do if I was serious about giving the Europeans a go. And lastly, I am quite enjoying prioritising being a Mum, and trying to be the best Mum I can be, my most important and valued role. In years to come, I don’t want any regrets that I missed out of key moments of joy in his development because I was out on a 3 hour bike ride, or ploughing up and down a boring pool. All in all, I just think the champs are too soon in March and I would be better off building slowly towards the Worlds in Amsterdam in September instead…. And surely he will be sleeping better by then, at 19 months old?! (Pleeeeeeease let him be sleeping better by then….)

That all said, the benefits derived from breastfeeding continue to amaze me. To say that I only run on average about 10 miles a week, with just the one parkrun as “speed work” and the rest being slow miles with the buggy, I am actually churning out some decent enough times. On Christmas day I managed 19:39 at Seaton parkrun, which is only 19 seconds slower than my Seaton course best, which was run when I was being coached by Chris in my build up to the world duathlon qualifiers in February 2018 and was super fit. Breastfeeding oxygenates the blood so is akin to being on legal EPO! I hardly feel out of breath and am only held back by my leg speed, which will only improve with speed work and track reps, but that is too risky injury wise. So, from a running perspective, I am fit enough to be up the front on the first 5k and get in a decent working pack going onto the bike. With the champs being draft legal, my cycling fitness doesn’t need to be as high as previous, provided I can get on some good wheels and stick with a pack. Yeh, so, basically, one day I think Spain is on, the next, it’s off…. And I have one week left to make the decision and commit…. Ho hum…. Decision time!

Back in the sub-20 min club again at Seaton parkrun. Yippee!