So, apparently it was April that I last penned a blog post. I began that post by musing that it would soon be Christmas.... and indeed, it now is! That was the early days of the pandemic, when we were all basking in the blissful ignorance of what was brewing in the months ahead. Where we knew that the situation wasn't great, but then, SARS, MERS, Ebola and all those other exotic diseases that experts warned could engulf the planet weren't great, but they never lived up to their full threat. April, where we filled our windows with handcrafted rainbows, emerged on our doorsteps every Thursday evening at 8pm in collective appreciation of our NHS and where there was a countrywide sense of unity and "in-this-togetherness". April, where the sun shone endlessly and the long light days were full of picnics and woodland walks and family time and embracing the situation as an opportunity to reset and to reconnect with the important things in life. That was then; this is now. The centre of winter.
I have never been a huge fan of winter. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I suffer with SAD, but I am really sensitive to the cold and definitely feel less inspired to go out when it's a dull, cold, wet day. I find the winter months a real slog, briefly enlivened by the providentially placed Christmas holiday, but otherwise a chunk of time that I regretfully find myself wishing away each year. If we got the picture-postcard perfect white winters of old, I might think differently; but as climate change seems to deal us a wet and soggy hand these days, there isn't much to get excited about. I have always struggled with winter training too: give me the sun and 20+ degrees to run or cycle in any day! Anyway, this year, this is all an irrelevance as there are no races.... and I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with Baby D. v. 2.0. Being pregnant in a pandemic is in many ways not ideal, but then, it isn't like there has been an a great deal else to do these past few months!! So rather boringly I have followed the madding crowd to become the butt of the "Oh so that's how you kept busy in lockdown" jokes. A Corona kid; a quaranteenie... whatever this generation of offspring will come to be known as, we couldn't be more thrilled about it. Currently planning a home-birth for my due date in early March to avoid the germ-infested hospital if at all possible.
So, whilst I have of course been missing parkrun and the thrill of a race, knowing that I wouldn't be able to push the pace at the moment anyway definitely assuages my competitive brain! Somehow, being unable to participate in events that are happening and that others are participating in is harder to cope with than there being no events full stop. FOMO and all that! So when 9am on a Saturday comes, I haven't really thought much about that old absent friend, parkrun, as we have just settled into a new routine without it. Parkruns happening and thus forcing me to make some difficult decisions about whether or not the joy of participating outweighs any potential associated risks to both me and baby, would be harder than there being no parkrun... as selfish as that sounds! I am confident that the whole virus situation will be a lot more positive in the Spring, as the vaccine machine hits its stride and the balmy weather helps to suppress the virus as it did over the summer months. See, there's every reason to dislike winter, as even the bugs and nasties are at their most virulent during this time!
And not all pregnancies are created equal. Looking back now, I can reflect that I had a pretty easy time of it during my first pregnancy. I had a bit of anaemia that somewhat stole what should be the energised middle trimester from me, but I managed to stay on top of it and keep up a relatively high exercise volume throughout... I now know why: I didn't have a toddler to look after! I could go to a spin class as I could then come home after, put my feet up on the sofa and rest for the remainder of the day. My 21 month old doesn't go to nursery as I gave up work to be a full-time Mum, which is so important to me... but it is bloody hard work when you are feeling knackered and there is a pandemic rumbling along in the background. What I wouldn't give on a rainy day to be able to take him to a soft play and sit back with a cup of coffee whilst he uses up his energy in a safe, foam-lined environment; or to just mulch around Ikea, fuelled up on bargain meat-balls, using the mock-up apartments as an interactive play setting! These places just aren't safe at the moment though. Sure, they put measures in place to mitigate the risks, but they cannot be considered completely safe as the virus lurks in corners unseen, and so everything becomes a case of weighing up the benefits against the risks.
Like so many, I miss the coffee shop trips to see friends. I miss the Mum and toddler groups and seeing the fellow Mum friends I made during my first pregnancy. My son doesn't see any other children and I worry for the impact this may have on his future socialisation as he is a very sensitive, quiet little chap. I have started attending the pregnancy yoga class I attended during my first pregnancy... but it's not the same. Wearing masks, being wary of what you might potentially be exposing yourself to being in a room with others for 90 minutes... it just adds stress when the whole purpose of yoga is to alleviate it! It's as safe as it can be... but then, nothing feels completely safe at the moment. For the past couple of weeks, I've done the class on Zoom, at home, but again, the social side of it I love so much just isn't as accessible via a computer screen. Aside from this weekly yoga class, I just do 25 minutes on my Wattbike, 4 - 5 times a week, just to tick over. Swimming is, strangely for a usual aqua-avoider like me, the activity I enjoy most when pregnant, but that is just so complicated at the moment. Booking a slot, driving to the pool, being unable to shower after, finding someone to look after my boy for the 2 hour long process for just a 30 minute swim, it's just not worth it. So I have decided not to stress. I will just tick over with Wattbiking and walking and get through to the spring and then see what shape we're in. Hopefully parkruns will have returned by then, the end of the pandemic may well be within sight, and I will be the Mum of two energy-sapping littl'uns and so any form of meaningful training might be as unrealistic as the hopes of a white Christmas! Either way, roll on 2021!
