Too bogged down to put a blog down...

So, blogging hasn’t happened in a while. That is because my six month old’s sleep hasn’t really happened either, and my ability to find time do the former is dependent upon his ability to do the latter. Clearly, we are both failing in our respective tasks. I used to blog when he was on me, asleep, in his sling, but he has now outgrown the sling forward facing and as there isn’t a cat in hell’s chance of him falling asleep outward facing when there is far too much to keep him entertained and awake, so we have lost that weapon in our armour. In its place: pram pushing. Miles upon miles of pram pushing. Congratulations to all those who correctly predicted that by running with him in the womb throughout pregnancy I was setting myself up for an active baby who needs to be in perpetual motion to sleep: you were right. But sadly for you, there is no prize! My prize? Being constantly on the go and perpetually knackered. His night time sleeping is still at newborn levels (waking and needing feeding in order to resettle every 2 hours) and up to 8 miles of pram walking a day makes for one extremely exhausted Mummy. On top of this, I have been trying to stick with my training schedule and doing some form of swim, bike or run training six days a week because, in a moment of madness, I decided to enter the ITU (world) and ETU (European) sprint duathlon qualifying races and try to make it onto the GB team for the world and Euro champs in 2020.

My fitness on the bike is back to where it was pre-baby, in fact, I almost think it is better. The average speeds I am hitting on what feel like easy aerobic base rides are far superior to where I was at 18 months ago. I haven’t done an FTP test to see where I am at power-wise and, to be honest, I don’t really care as I simply don’t have the time or flexibility to commit to a structured training schedule that works off numbers right now. Everything is done on feel as and when I can fit it in, but I have always been pretty good at judging my efforts on the 1-10 RPE scale, so I am just basing all my training on that. Not very scientific, but that is the approach I had prior to taking on a coach in 2018 and that is the approach that got me to the European champs in 2017 and got me a silver medal. Besides, it’s the only approach that logistically works for me and my family right now. If I were to follow a regimented coaching plan, I would just be left feeling constantly guilty: guilty that I am asking too much of others to help look after my baby whilst I train; guilty of not being with my baby when he needs me because my plan says it’s swim time now, not Sylvester time; and guilty to the plan and/or my coach because there would inevitably be several missed sessions when my full-time job as a Mum just takes priority over a training plan. It would add pressure to the whole thing and, right now, I am under enough pressure just trying to survive with a baby who doesn’t much see the point of sleep or who is in too much discomfort with reflux and teething to be able to sleep. What I need now is for exercise to be escapism, my bit of 'me' time, and for me to just enjoy it as and when I am able.

So I have put in for these qualifiers but am going into them not expecting much. The way things are going with Sylvester’s night time sleep, I know I will be towing the start line already knackered and therefore at a disadvantage to most of my fellow competitors who have had a nice easy taper week, put their feet up, got the good nutrients on board and had a few nights good quality slumber. I will be relying on coffee to get me through. Coffee and a can-do attitude… let’s hope it’s enough!

My running has ben steadily improving and my times also. This weekend I managed a 5k parkrun in 20:13; still two minutes down on my PB but only a minute shy of my best since I made the switch from being exclusively a runner to a multi-sport athlete in 2015. As my bikes times seem to have improved slightly, this should hopefully only see me around 1 minute slower than where I was at for the other qualifying races I competed in, in which I won my category on all three occasions (to qualify I only need to place top 4, so I am confident that this is achievable… baring mechanical disasters!!)

Nope, not walking a parkrun - walking to the start of a parkrun, namely Southwick in Trowbridge

Southwick parkrun - my 210th parkrun at 49 different events

And another new Post-partum parkrun Pb (a p-p.p.pb) of 20:13

I have been thoroughly enjoying the running and have been pleasantly surprised by how quickly I have regained my fitness. The leg speed has been slower to return, but the endurance – to say I am doing nothing longer than 4 miles in one go – is there. I was so shocked to place second lady at the ever popular and competitive Totnes 10k at the start of August and be only 1m30s slower than my course best time, which I set in 2013 when I was at my fittest and running all my PBs. Plus being able to reset the clock from the date I gave birth has given me a mental boost: rather than seeing a 20:13 parkrun 5k as a disappointing 2 minutes slower than my PB, I can see view it as yet another post-partum parkrun PB (or, as I have coined it, a quadruple ‘p’), and I have had the pleasure of setting a few of those over the past few months, seeing my times fall from the high 23 mins when I first started back, down to the low 20s. Very motivating! We have also been continuing our tour of the country parkrun by parkrun! My total now reaching 49 different events over 210 runs and 20 volunteers (with the goal of hitting the big 50 in Gloucester this weekend). Last Saturday was Southwick: we had to leave at 7am to get there, but that is no longer a chore when we have already been awake for 2 hours anyway!

Totnes 10k: one of my fave trail races; I have run it 5 times now

2nd lady, only 1m30s slower than my course best: a most unexpected result!

My 5 month old giving my prize his 'Syl' of approval...

Also, since Sylvester turned 6 months, I have been able to run with him in his running buggy, a big plus as it means I can now combine my training with his nap time: for a baby who will only nap in a buggy on the move, this now means 6 miles of walking and one 4 mile run as opposed to 8 miles of walking (4 naps x 2 miles each, minimum, assuming he is quick to doze off… longer if the first mile sees him still in the land of the wide-awake!) plus a separate training run on top, bringing my daily foot-fall to well over 10 miles…. all on the back of atrociously disturbed sleep. It’s a good job I am a naturally energetic person and powered by Duracell as I think lesser mortals running on cheap batteries from the pound store would have long since fallen by the wayside! But even I have my limits and this week has been particularly tough: terrible nights of teething and reflux screaming, doctor’s appointments, new medication, baby not gaining weight etc etc and the worry of all this on top of the sleep deprivation and training fatigue has even got to me, super-Mum (Sylvester bought me a mug for Mother’s Day that says I am, so it must be true!). There have been 3 rest days in the past 5 days: unheard of! (By "rest" I simply mean no training, of course that pram still needs pushing come rain or shine!)

Buggy running at Haldon Forest with my boy!

An unexpected side-effect of all these challenges is that I can literally eat whatever I want, in vast quantities, and I still weigh around 5lbs less than before I was pregnant. A lot of people have commented that I am looking rather slim for someone who recently gave birth and I think they assume that I have made ditching the baby bulge a priority, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. For once I didn’t care that my stomach wasn’t toned and my physique at last resembles that of a woman rather than an athletic teenage boy (I have the short hair again, but this time I also have hips and boobs, and so the question put to my parents at races in seasons gone by – ‘How old is your son?’ – should na’er again be repeated!) I was prepared for it to take as long as it takes to get back in shape as I now had something more important in my life than the vacuous achievement of looking fit and toned: I was finally a Mum!! Indeed, I was shocked by the rate at which the weight just fell off, especially in the two weeks immediately after the birth and I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight by 14 days post-partum. But when I do the maths, it’s not too surprising. 500 calories a day are burned just breastfeeding. I burn an addition 500 – 1000 (depending on the activity and length of it) six days a week doing my training; then there are the miles upon miles of pram walking (at least another 500 calories). Lastly, factor in that when I am at home, I am never just sat around anymore: I am running around! Changing nappies, doing the laundry, carrying a baby, playing with a baby, moving a baby from one activity station to the next because he got bored there after 10 minutes… and in between this there are multiple visits to the fridge to shovel food in. I am probably burning around 2000 calories a day on top of the 2000 I already burn just existing. 4000 calories a day is an awful lot of food to put back in, particularly when finding time to prepare and eat food is a challenge, so on top of my three regular meals, things like dairy-free cakes and chocolate etc have also featured. Bloody hell – there have to be some treats to keep me going and sadly gin and prosecco are still off the menu whilst I’m breastfeeding!

Got to skidaddle now: my boys are back! I sacked off a bike ride today because I am just too knackered to contemplate it and so my kind and supportive husband, who has taken the week off work to support me, took our boy out in the pram this afternoon to give me a couple of hours chill time. Chill time over: they are back! Hopefully write a post about how the qualifying races go (one in September, one in October)… so maybe get chance to write about them before January is over?! Who knows…. That is all rather dependent upon a certain little someone who is now here next to me, eyeing up my boob with longing (men huh, they never change in this regard!), so must dash!